Fatherhood

This blog entry has kind of taken a change over the last few weeks.  I had intended to write about “Riddick” the 3^rd in a trilogy staring Vin Diesel.  But on Thursday 26^th September in the morning my wife woke up to some strange pains that stop and start.  She was in labour!  Little Rhys Daniel Morgan decided he wanted to come just under 5 weeks early and give us a little shock.

It is nearly three weeks since he was born and it has been the greatest and most challenging three weeks of my life so far.  But I wouldn't have it any other way.  Obviously writing has taken a bit of a back burner, although have managed to do some studying for the Writers Bureau course.

His first 10 days were spent in the Neonatal department in Special Care Baby Unit at the George Elliot hospital in Nuneaton due to being born premature and also because he had a little difficulty breathing when first born.   He was inhaling OK but was having difficulty exhaling so had to have a tube down him to help him after being born.  We were warned that if he couldn't breathe unaided then he would need to be transferred to either Leicester or Coventry hospital as they were set up better for this and was told it was 50/50.  But he is my son and my DNA is full of stubbornness so after a couple of hours he was breathing on his own - much to our delight.  It has been rather stressful as my wife had only had a small chance to hold him post birth and I had to wait till the next day – I did get to cut the cord and was with my wife the whole way which as any father will tell you is an experience that probably can’t be put into words unless you have seen it happen for yourself.

We were able to both stay at the hospital as they gave us a side room which meant they could get a bed in for me – this meant my wife was away from the other mothers who had they babies with them.  We could go down any time, night or day, to spend time with him which we of course did.  My wife was discharged after three days at her own request.  She could have stayed there for as long as needed but felt she was better off at home where she could sleep better and recover for Rhys.  For the next few days we would leave home after lunch and be home 9pm.  I got a reputation for falling asleep in the chair and we would practice changing him, feeding him and generally bonding with him as best we could whilst still in an incubator.  One night we returned as we were both missing him and spent a couple of hours with him at 10pm.

Each day he showed great progress.  Considering he was premature, and born five weeks early he was a rather big 6lbs 7 so it was probably best for the wife he came out earlier!  He went from being in an incubator, to having phototherapy for Jaundice (seeing him with his eyes covered up was a little hard), to being tube fed, to being part tube/part bottle fed to being moved into a cot and finally into a side room where the wife stayed with him as a “halfway house” to see he was ready to go home.  It must be said that the staff at the hospital were superb, very helpful and understanding.  They also genuinely loved him and were clearly had mixed feelings when we left with him as they were glad he was well enough, but sad to see him go.

Of course now the fun began as we finally got to be proper parents – living on 5-6 disturbed hours of sleep a night (if we were lucky!), feeding him, bathing him, changing him, being pissed on/pooed on/puked on whilst changing him to enjoying lots of cuddles with him.  I've spent time up with him on the sofa catching up with Sky plus at 3am just because all he wants it a cuddle and won’t relax unless we hold him! 

The wife and I have our system in the night – I get up to get the milk ready whilst she cuddles him.  I found I was dropping off with him in my arms and felt I woke up better if I jumped out of bed and made the bottle up.

Of course through all this hardship, it must be added, that it is of course a rewarding experience.  We keep finding little mannerisms in him that come from us, for example, he likes to open one eye whilst sleeping to look around, which I do when napping.  When I've had a hard run or race, coming home, having a shower then a cuddle with him is a great feeling.  The challenge is there and we've had lots of help and support from friends and family – but really we are kind of learning on the job and blagging it using instinct. 

Anyway, Riddick was very good, and much like Pitch Black in tone and style.  But that’s not important anymore.